Greedy Bastards

This ranch has been coveted by many many many different people, organizations and entities, most likely since the beginning of time. Indeed, when I got one of my first jobs, working for the association which supplies books to our area's national parks, it became crystally and frighteningly clear:

The National Park wants our Ranch.

The ranch is bordered by a National Park, henceforth known and referred to as Greedy Bastard National Park, or GBNP. At or shortly after the time GBNP came into existence, they took some of what had been the ranch property. I don't know when or how it came about or even how many acres they took, but they took them.

At a meeting with the superintendent, he pointed to a map on the wall, and proceeded to explain why the park "needs" to attain the ranch property. These Greedy Bastards will never stop campaigning and promoting their ideas until they get their way.

This morning, C.G. was down for coffee. She, #1 and I were talking about ABEG and some other things. I mentioned that when I went down to Greedy Bastard NP the other day to buy a map, the employees were circling around like a pack of hungry wolves: "I heard the lease extension was signed. Was it signed? How long is it for? Blah, blah, blah." Okay, to be honest it was just one ranger, but still that is one ranger too many to be sooooo interested in and giving me the third degree about the recent developments down here. I just said, "I guess I don't know."

I said to C.G., "so is the park still wanting this place, has ABEG mentioned anything recently?" And C.G. replied that on Friday, she got an email from ABEG, wanting to know when she would be coming to the Big City so they could discuss the issues of park expansion and a bit of development down here. So apparently this issue is not just in people's minds, it is in the Forefront of Negotiations. This is terrifying to us.

Those Greedy Bastards will keep pushing and pushing until ABEG caves. It appears to be only a matter of time. "Maintain a working cattle ranch," ABEG? Wasn't that your "goal" when you purchased this place? Please keep that in mind.

Too bad we didn't know about all this when the Governor was here.

We need to fight this, and fight it HARD. Who's with us? In the coming months, I'll let you know if there's anything you can do to help.

Animal {non} Sense

I am constantly surprised by people who don't know a lot or even a little about animals. Especially if they live on a ranch like this one, surrounded by animals.

Wifey just came over to talk to me because she is going up to the mountain today. C.G's little dog has to take some antibiotics, a pill, every morning, and Wifey asked me if I could give her the pill tomorrow. I said, sure. Wifey went on to tell me HOW to give her this pill:

"C.G. says you have to take the little pill, cut it out of the cellophane, and SHOVE IT WAY DOWN HER THROAT, then GRAB HER MOUTH AND NECK..."

I interrupted to say, "yeah, I'll just wrap it in a piece of cheese or something. That's how you give a dog a pill."

She said, "Well, that's how I do it with my dog, but I've just been doing it C.G.'s way, because that's how she told me to do it."

[I can't say that I've ever in my life met someone so, shall we say, obedient...]

I said, "Well, that way is mean and too hard. I'll do it with cheese."

THE END.


Oh, and also, Wifey said that Mia bit her shoe as she was trying to come in the house. I asked if she kicked at Mia, and she said, "I did stick out my foot to keep her out because I know you didn't want her in the house." Well there ya go. Mia's the guard dog.

Oh, AND...Wifey said "those cats of C.G.'s need a huge bowl of food Every Day!" I said, "that's okay, I'll just put out TWO bowls."

I am nothing if not efficient.

The Day of The ~SALSA~

I've decided.

For this year, today,

27 October 2007

is

The Day of The Salsa.

By that, I mean that I realized I needed to get my crap together TODAY and make salsa before any more tomatoes rot. As you may know, I rescued all the green tomatoes and all the peppers from the cold weather a couple weeks ago, and they have been ripening (and taking up precious space) on my counter ever since then.

Today, I looked at the tomatoes, and a few of them were beginning to rot. I decided I better get on it. I have been putting this job off for days. I can put it off no longer...not to mention that some of you know I have a teeny tiny kitchen with limited counter space, so I really would like to reclaim it from the tomatoes.

Right now, I am on my 8th batch of salsa. I make them in doubles, so I've put together four double batches. That equals eight. I'm taking credit where credit is due.

The house smells of roasting...tomatoes, serranos, jalapeños, garlic...it is wonderful. I've had a few chips and various kinds of freshly-made salsa for breakfast along with my coffee this morning. (it is imperative that each batch be tasted for quality assurance)

I've told you about salsa making before, in other places if not here. So I won't go too much into it. Let's just say I have made so much salsa, I could probably make it in my sleep. Dare I say, I make

The Best Salsa Ever.

And, as soon as this, the fourth double batch is completed, I will be finished for today. I can't say this is any kind of record for me, because this happens every year. I don't remember if I've ever made eight batches in a day, but if not I've come damn close. B.K. (Before Kids) I used to can this salsa. I have not done that since H-Bomb and then Sawed-Off arrived. Now, it is much easier to freeze the salsa, and it turns out great.

But, I will not be finished until the last tomato ripens and gets salsified. I still have a pile of them, in varying stages of ripeness, as you can see...

And plenty of peppers as well. I think our salsa supply will definitely last through next spring by the time I am through! YeeHaw!


I have been at this all morning. It is now noon, and I am finished but for letting the flavors come together at room temperature and then finding room in the freezer.

Somehow I have managed to do this in between feeding the boys and dealing with whining and disagreements and who-knows-how-many time outs for H-Bomb (he's having a hard time today). But now, I look behind me to the kitchen table. I think the boys have basically been eating since they woke up. Oatmeal? Of course. Granola with milk? Sure. Milk with 'Tine? If you stop whining. More granola? I guess. Ice cream cup? Whatever.

So the table and the floor and the chairs and any and all the surfaces in the dining room? Simply COVERED. With, yes, oatmeal-granola-milk-milk with 'tine-granola-ice cream. I have wiped down both boys. I think you can guess what my next project is for today. Thank goodness I finally covered the dining room chairs in vinyl...

'ello, Guvnah

On Tuesday, we got a visit from the Governor of our fine state. I'm not sure how it came about, something to do with ABEG bigwigs, the USGS and some environmental guy who flew in from D.C. just to attend. Or so he said.

Anyway, H-Bomb, Sawed Off and I hurried home from preschool so we wouldn't miss lunch. (and then Sawed Off missed all of lunch anyway, fell asleep in the van on the way home). I had H-Bomb practice saying "Governor" all the way home. We had a delicious catered lunch, listened to some people talk, met the Governor, who said H-Bomb could call him "John" because that's easier to say.

It was fairly low-key and casual. Good food. ABEG promoting their World Domination Master Plan, and the Governor being practical and asking about first steps that could be taken now, bringing the focus back to our region, if not just the ranch, rather than the whole freakin' world.

I believe he is a good guy who asked some good questions. What does ABEG want from him? Take a guess. You are right: $$$$$
Freakin' ABEG. At least they paid for lunch.

A Moment in the Life...

It never fails. Not ever. As soon as I am alone on the ranch with H-Bomb and Sawed Off, a whole bunch of animals bust out of wherever they're supposed to be. I swear.

This morning, #1 and C.G. left at 5:30am. Thankfully, I was able to go back to sleep, but not before H-Bomb crawled into bed with me, and Bitty, our little kitten, did too. So it was H-Bomb, me, Sawed Off and Bitty, all snuggled up until after 7:am. Which is a good thing because despite the crowding, it was cold this morning and the 2nd heater isn't lit yet.

So, I wake up, get the last cup of coffee out of the lukewarm pot (can't make a new one until I run vinegar through it, it's been s l o w lately). The boys wake up too. Bitty wants outside.

A truck drives in. I go to the window to see if it's Contractor, but it's not. As the truck is driving around to leave, I see Them: Cows. Out.

Today, the cows got out of the horse pasture. There's only one way they can get out, and that's through the gate. Now I have a quick, internal debate. Sawed Off, who always wakes up first, is already well into a bowl of oatmeal. H-Bomb has just decided he's hungry, and he wants Dinosaur oatmeal, the kind you have to boil water for. I decide I need to go get those cows in before they scatter. I pretend to put the water on, but don't turn on the burner. Rather than take the time to get the boys ready, I decide to leave them in the house.

I get into the jeep, drive down to the barn, check out where the cows are. Of course from where I am, they are backed into a corner. It's a good thing that Mia, the guardian of our house and family, is an aspiring cow dog. But at first she doesn't understand which way I want the cows to go. I have to drive all the way around the long shed to get the cows moving, hoping hoping that they don't get smart and just run around the other end to freedom and our yard. I drive toward them, then sick Mia on them. The thing about an aspiring cow dog? More often than not, they just Chase. They don't Herd or Guide or Walk with the cattle. So I have to hurry. Which is why I've got my jeep this morning.

By the time I race the jeep around the long shed, the first cows are going straight through the gate. Thank goodness. Luckily they all just ran right in there. I get to the gate, and guess what? It closes with a carabiner type thing on a chain. So, a cow can't get a carabiner undone. So that means that 1. someone didn't latch the carabiner or 2. someone just stuck the chain in the catch thingy without latching it or what all this actually means is, 3. someone left the gate open.

(I get back to the house, and the boys are right where I left them, Sawed Off eating his oatmeal and H-Bomb sitting patiently beside him. I think it's gonna be a good day.)


And now this reminds me of a very funny story. At least I think it's funny.

This time, I was alone with the boys, but Wifey was here too. A bunch of horses got out. I ran around chasing those horses for a good 15 minutes, not to mention driving my jeep up and down the lawn, before Wifey came out of her house. I had the boys in my jeep, parked it strategically to steer the horses, took the key out and told them to stay put. I asked Wifey to stand, right there, just to the right of the gate, which would form a natural barrier and guide the horses through the gate. I told her if the horses tried to get past her, just stand there and raise her arms and yell at them.

I got around behind the horses, got them headed straight for the gate. My plan was working perfectly. Suddenly, one horse peels off the herd and tries to get around Wifey. I yell, "RAISE YOUR ARMS, WIFEY!!!!"

And what does she do? She puts her arms down and RUNS AS FAST AS SHE CAN in the other direction. And so do all the horses. I could almost hear H-Bomb, quoting me as he sat in the jeep, "Jesus." Hey, at least he uses it in context.