A Cowboy Watches More, Er, Masculine Television

I walk into the living room. Some kind of action/sci fi/adventure movie is on. Dark, dreary, with clashing metal and grunts and screaming. "What are you watching, hon," I ask #1.

"Alien Vs. Predator," #1 proudly announces.

"Oh," I say, and walk away.

"Are you going to blog about it??" he asks. "Why don't you tell them about this movie?"

I sense a sort of desperation in his voice. A kind of pleading for a chance at redemption. "Eh," I say.


(I'm just kidding about that last part. I know he likes his action/sci fi/adventure films. And now you know that too.)

Okay, then #1. I've blogged about it. Now They Know. Ya happy??

A Cowboy Watches Television

Perhaps it's because he grew up without a television. Back in the day, there was no satellite television, and so there was no opportunity to watch television on the ranch. I'm still occasionally amazed at the blank look I receive when I mention some cultural reference from our growing up years, that #1 did not experience.

#1 had a television down here at some point, but the only thing is was connected to was a Beta Max (that was the thing before a VCR, right?) and later a VCR, so they could watch movies. Before there was a movie rental place in town, they had to buy movies, which they then watched over and over. And over. And over. After a movie rental place opened in town, there was an occasional movie rental, but since the rental place was about 70 miles round trip from the ranch, late fees were more frequent than actual rentals.

When I started coming down to the ranch, I used to set my own VCR in town to record my favorite shows, then bring them down to watch with #1 and C.G. And then I introduced them to satellite television. And now, we have about a million channels.

Some of the ranch hands, off and on, have had satellite television at their houses as well, since C.G. first installed it. #1 used to make fun of a particular ranch hand's wife, no longer here, who was kind of deaf, and at all times of the day or night, you would walk past her house to hear the television blaring, almost always on the Lifetime channel, whose tagline is "Television for Women." And #1 and I would laugh about the ranch hand getting sucked in to his wife's movies.
Still, sometimes, I am amazed at #1's choice in movies. For example, many, many times, I have come out into the living room to find him watching silly movies. Silly movies like Spice World. I swear he watches that every single time he comes across it. I'm not joking. Santa even gave him a copy for Christmas. I believe Santa found it on clearance somewhere, for about $2. So I heard.

Today, I don't know what I was doing, but I wasn't in the living room. I walked in, and noticed he was watching a movie. I also noticed the little logo in the corner:
"What are you watching, hon?" I asked.

His face turned a little red.

"What's the name of this movie?" I asked again.

"Crap!" #1 said. "I didn't want you to see the channel."

"I already saw the logo in the corner," I laughed.

For those of you who may not know, LMN stands for: Lifetime Movie Network. Yes, that's right, I said "Lifetime." You know, an offshoot of the Lifetime channel. Need I remind you, it's Lifetime, Television for Women??

"Crap!!" His face reddened more. He pushed the Info button on the remote. The movie was called On The 2nd Day of Christmas.

In case you don't believe me about these movies he watches, and for some reason don't want to follow the link I just posted, or maybe you think he only watches Cowboy movies or Action movies or even Adventure movies, here's the plot synopsis from The Internet Movie Database:

"Con-woman Trish and her niece/ward Patsy are caught trying to steal from a department store right before Christmas. With the holidays so near, Bert, a store employee, agrees to be responsible for the pair so that Patsy need not spend the holidays in social services. Romance ensues."

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. How sweet. I think that one's right up there with Spice World. Now I think he simply Must agree to watch The Notebook with me, don't you?

A Quiet Little Christmas

As it turned out this year, #1 and I spent a very quiet Christmas with the boys. Well, as quiet as a Christmas can be with two boys aged 4-1/2 and almost 2. What I mean is, our family was alone on the ranch. There was no one else around for miles and miles.

C.G. had gone to her oldest son's house, and stayed an extra night or so. She wasn't around on Christmas Eve, and didn't arrive until about 2:PM on Christmas day.

RH and Wifey were up in the Big City, with their kids and grandkids. They've been gone over a week now.

So the ranch was nice and quiet. As far as adults go. Just me and #1. It was nice not to have commitments or big plans or tons of impending guests the way it happens other years. Sure, C.G. came home, and a friend of ours came down for dinner in the afternoon, but there wasn't the pressure of other years. The "need" to shuttle the boys back and forth between houses for one thing after another.

We just had our quiet little Christmas Eve hike/picnic; tracked Santa's progress on the Internet; ate dinner; then read The Night Before Christmas; set out cookies; a gift; and a bottle of water for Santa (we're running out of milk, not going to town until the 26th at the earliest. Santa got water); filled stockings with dog treats for all the dogs (seven, at last count) and baby kitty; put the boys to bed on time. (after I promised H-Bomb he could eat cookies for breakfast because it was too late to eat cookies and he already had his teeth brushed. I know.)

In the morning, the boys slept in until almost 7:AM (trust me, it's late for our boys) and then #1 went out to turn on the generator so we could power the Christmas tree lights. Oh, who am I kidding, we needed coffee! I wrestled with the boys, trying to keep Sawed Off in bed until #1 returned so we could see their excited little faces light up when they saw their presents.

#1 got back, we took the boys out to the living room and spent the morning opening gifts. It took all morning because H-Bomb oohs and aahs over every little thing: "LOOK!! Santa gave me dinosaur stickers! Wow! Socks!!! That was good of Santa to give me socks." (I'm not kidding here). And also, Sawed Off seemed to have, until almost 11:AM, some kind of aversion to opening gifts. So we were all finished and he had most of his presents still stacked up in front of him. Somehow H-Bomb convinced Sawed Off that it would be, I don't know, FUN, to open his presents, and then he got on it, wrapping paper scraps a-flyin'.

Then there were the cookies for breakfast, and some chocolate candy (also slowed down the gift unwrapping) and candy canes. Later we tried to force the boys to eat oatmeal, but it didn't really work.

I guess I'm just trying to describe our leisurely Christmas morning, which was kind of nice as a change. Usually Christmas down here is full of visitors and meals and traveling up to Grammy's and back each and every day. And while it's nice to have people around and things to do and places to go, sometimes it makes me tired. And I just feel like curling up in our own little house, snuggling our own little family.

So I'm happy that this year, we got to do that.

Then, in the afternoon, after we had watched a movie or two and the boys played with toys and I made Coconut Sugar Snowflake Cookies, we packed up and cooked dinner at Grammy's. And that was nice too. We tried a new recipe for Venison Roast with Blueberry-Maple Sauce, with saffron rice on the side. It was delicious. Everyone raved about it; even Sawed Off said "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM." We drank wine, listened to Christmas music, opened more presents.

H-Bomb and #1 played some kind of game where I couldn't look at them, they were hiding behind the couch cushions, but I would sneak up on them. H-Bomb and Sawed Off gave me some new perfume this year, and at one point, from behind the cushions, H-Bomb whispered to Daddy, "I can smell Mommy coming!" And it was just about the cutest thing ever.

Sawed Off collapsed into sleep, and later we loaded everything up and drove home. It was a perfect Christmas.

I hope yours was, too.

"Brain Trimmers"

Our house, 11:10am.

Sawed Off turns on the television, a Baby Einstein video is playing. He stands close to the television, watching it.

"Stop it!" shouts H-Bomb. "You're going to get a brain trimmer doing that!"

"What?" I ask. "A brain tumor?"

"NO! A brain trimmer!"

"Oh, a brain trimmer? From standing too close?"

"Yes!" H-Bomb asserts.

"Go sit on the couch, Sawed Off," I say as I walk away. #1 claims he didn't say anything about brain trimmers. I am positive I only have ever said it would hurt their eyes. #1 changes his story, saying "it's possible I told them about brain tumors..."

Meanwhile, back in the living room:

"Sawed Off! You're going to get a brain trimmer!! Move away!"

H-Bomb's Gingerbread House

H-Bomb loves making gingerbread houses. He was so excited this year. Could hardly wait. He wanted to make this one the day we bought it, back in November, but I told him it was for Christmas. I told him to go change his shirt and wash his hands, and he did both!


Here are #1 and H-Bomb, kneading the ready-made icing. I love these kits! Perhaps one day, when we have a real kitchen in a bigger house, we'll be ambitious enough to bake our own gingerbread for houses and men and women and trains and castles (H-Bomb said that last one). But for this year, it's a kit.

And so construction begins.

Sawed Off still hasn't figured out what's going on.

He does not yet know there is Candy Over There.

Candy. Just sitting about, in bowls. For The Taking.

Ah. Here he has figured it out.

#1 convinced him it wasn't for eating.

Let's just see how long this lasts!

There's some.
Let me just put some on this walkway.


Or maybe on the roof. That looks nice.


There's a lot going on right now. Hard to get in there for a picture.

And then. Then. Wait a minute!
Those brightly colored things...maybe I'll just Taste One.
Hey! And these are...these are Cookies!!!


MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

H-Bomb is so dedicated.
So thoughtful and considerate and detail-oriented, decorating faithfully and creatively.

And Sawed Off is so...hungry!

What??
Why should Sawed Off have all the fun?
Besides, There was Frosting On My Finger.

Darn ole Frosting.

See? I made a Snowman!

And Sawed Off decided that Daddy needed a bit of help with the icing.
So helpful, he is.

Ummmm.
I'm not reaching for Anything.
Honestly. Would these eyes lie?

But, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It sure tastes good...

As you can see, Sawed Off left enough candy uneaten so H-Bomb and Daddy could decorate a fine Gingerbread House, and a Snowman, and a Christmas Tree, and a Gingerbread Santa! There was even candy left over. For eating, of course.

Happy Christmas, Everyone!

Christmas Cookies & Candy!!!

I just thought I'd let you all know what I've been working on for Christmas. We have a lot of new folks in our lives right now, the builders, the town neighbors (who keep an eye on the place in town for us), H-Bomb's preschool teacher, who all deserve a little something. I'm not about to go out and buy gifts, and I love to start little family traditions, so we are making cookies and candy. The neighbors and the teacher will probably also each get a hand-crocheted kitchen towel--you know, the kind that hang near the sink--made by yours truly. (I learned to crochet from my Grandma, years ago, so I've had some practice. They go pretty quickly.)

Anyway, (I've included links to recipes that are posted online--just click on the recipe title) so far we have made:

Chewy Chocolate Gingerbread Cookies

(our families' personal favorites, these are chock-full of freshly grated ginger and hand-chopped chocolate, and are hard to keep around for very long. This is a recipe of Martha's that I've had for several years.)

Butter Cookies

(a classic recipe from my mom, H-Bomb enjoyed using the cookie press to make these. We like to make them blue.)

Chocolate Covered Cherry Cookies

(a new recipe we tried this year, each cookie has a cherry embedded in the center, covered with a chocolate "frosting" that makes them delicious. The link lists them as "Jessica's" cookies, but curiously the recipe is exactly the same as the one in my Better Homes and Gardens Celebrate the Season 1999 cookbook...hmmmm.)

Anise Candy Crystals

(another new recipe, also from BH&G Celebrate the Season, a hard, pink--not enough food coloring!--anise-flavored candy that is quite good. I also got to beat it apart into "crystals" so that was fun)

Honey Walnut Caramels

(Another new recipe, I just finished making these, so there is no picture yet. They are from a cookbook called Who Wants Candy? They are cooling in the pan, after which they will be sliced and individually wrapped. Maybe then I'll post a picture!)

Chocolate Coconut Drops

(yet another new recipe, also from the cookbook Who Wants Candy?, these little gems taste like Almond Joys, but with walnuts! Scrumptious!)

Carnation's Famous Fudge

(this isn't the fudge--it hasn't been made yet. But I will be making the classic fudge with Carnation brand evaporated milk's recipe. It should look something like this. I might update this picture later as well. I plan on making the fudge as soon as I finish this fun blog!)


*There are other goodies on the list to be made, so check back in a day or two and see what else we've been working on! Tomorrow is our Gingerbread House!

Christmas Treein'

Yesterday, we drove up to the mountains to chop down a Christmas tree. Or more accurately, saw down a Christmas tree, as evidenced by the saw casually slung through #1's belt. This is the same mountain road I told you about the other day. Only now it's icier. Much icier. It was pretty slow going, and I thought #1 was perhaps pushing our luck just a little bit, but he kept driving and driving. Until finally, I looked out and said, "How about that one down there?" And we stopped.


...Now, I realize, being from where I am, the Land Of Winter Snow, the place where one January we only went to school for about six days total because we got snowed in every single weekend (awesome!!), that this snow does NOT look like much. And indeed, it really isn't much. It isn't even much that the little bit of snow is covering a sheet of ice--that's what winter driving is all about. However, combine that with the slope of the roads, the curves and the steep mountain grades and the no guardrails, that is what makes it treacherous...


We walked down the road to the tree, decided it was the one, or at least it would do for this year, and #1 sawed it down. With some help from the boys. Sawed-Off held the finely crafted cardboard saw sheath, and proceeded to hit #1 with it, as if to say, "Faster, faster." He thought that was hilarious.


Last year, we traveled for Christmas. Until I decide what kinds of geographical locations I want to reveal to you, let's just say, we drove over 1600 miles for Christmas with my parents. My dad (and I and my brother when we were younger and our mom) has planted thousands of pine trees on his 10-acre property over the years. That's a lot of Christmas trees. And a fine wind break. Anyway, when we were there last year, my dad let H-Bomb pick out his very own tree and put it in his room. The room that used to be my brother's, complete with-I kid you not-semi-truck wallpaper. It is a sight to behold. But the little boys LOVE it.

My point is, we've kind of started a tradition--the little Christmas tree all H-Bomb's very own, that he gets to decorate all by himself and keep in his room. So, here he is, dragging "his" tree up to the road.


And here is #1 and Sawed-Off, with the main Christmas tree. We meant to take a cute family photo for our Christmas cards, but by the time we got around to it, the camera battery was dead.


So we just ate more cookies, spilled drank some fruit punch all over the truck and drove home. Slowly. Sawed-Off fell asleep in the truck on the way.

Then we decorated our trees, listened to Christmas songs and searched for extension cords. That's about as eventful as it was. But it was fun. H-Bomb has been excited for this Christmas ever since last Christmas. Sawed-Off could care less, although, like his brother before him, he LOVES yanking the lower ornaments off the tree, announcing "Ball!" and throwing them around--they are shaped like balls you know, isn't that what they're for??

Here is H-Bomb's miniature tree, in all it's weighted down, ornamented and lighted and draped glory.

Happy Christmas!

A Horse Trailer Full of Windows

Contractor drove in tonight with a horse trailer full of our new doors and windows! I think we are only missing one door, and that will be in shortly. They will begin installing the window in the addition first, because that will allow them to get started on the batten board siding. It will also allow us to take a much-needed trip up to the Big City for visiting and shopping. (And a trip to the spa for me--Thank you, #1!!)

When we return, or possibly after Christmas, they will start chainsawing through the existing walls of our house to install the new, larger windows on that side of the house, and a glass door on one end.

Look at all those windows! Aren't you excited? We sure are.


They also have our roofing on, almost completed, although I'm sure there is a bunch more work to be done that I'm not aware of. It looks almost completed from the ground. I'll take a picture of that in a few days so you can see it too.